The first part of this story is Sleeping. Once again, as you can see above, I am quite comfortable in my own fur despite the fact that you awakened me. When you move from place to place I must follow you. It’s in my DNA. You don’t have to pay a fee or collect my spit to figure that out since I already know that and so do you. We have empathy as well as intuition. Because you have not collected a herd of sheep for me or for Biscuit, to herd, I suffer from naptus interruptus. I herd you all over the bonnie dails. That’s Scottish for lovely fields. But I am a very tolerant dog. I move around at a steady gait right beside you; well, okay, I admit it’s a relatively slow gait these days. But I manage to keep up with you regardless. You’re a little slower too. I like that.

As for Snoring, the second part of this story, I make a lovely sound that sounds like snoring, except it is a lovely gentle wavelike sound that has nothing to do with sleep apnea and does not require a snorkel machine. It comes from deep inside your throat, and your soul. Many years ago, as oral tradition would suggest, my predecessor, Samoset, your very first (I am the eighth) Bearded Collie had mastered the yogic oo-jai breath. He was quite trendy. He may have learned it from you. Yoga was popular during Samoset’s life (1972ish). According to AI, oo-jai breath is a yogic breathing technique called victorious or ocean breath. It helps me, Oliver, stay warm, focused and steady. You do it and so do I. I have heard you, but not as often as I would recommend. It demonstrates how truly harmonious with the ocean we can be. We are aware of the beauty of gentle sound, peaceful appearance and rejuvenation.

Oliver’s advice: For those of you who need to focus, close your eyes, relax and inhale and exhale in a rhythm that puts you into a deep state of bliss. You can find out how to breathe like me through effortless research. Look it up. My personal rating for oo-jai breath is ten.

Well, dear fans, I’m here to tell you that I can usually get what I want no matter how I act. If you check the history of my posts, you’ll see I’ve been writing for ten years, but I was already two years old. Not only am I a successful individual, I am extraordinarily handsome and well-coordinated. This blog is not my resume, so I won’t bore you with the details of my exploits, but suffice it to say that I’ve been around. I speak to just about everyone and can keep my cool if I don’t get the proper response. Things haven’t changed much since I last wrote. See who’s in front below? Biscuit may be beautiful and strong, but he eventually yields to me, Oliver the powerhouse. Oliver the great.

Look closely. See the toothmarks on that brown package? My point is that I can still carry heavy packages in to you with my teeth. Just sayin’. I dropped it for a minute to pose for your photo of me. The cone I happen to be sporting in the photo above is quite fashionable in my age group. I was just trying it on for a few weeks after my doctor found a little problem on my foot. I single-pawedly improved. In fact, I made a magnificent recovery. Thank you for asking.

She (my doctor) said I was an “excellent boy.” I didn’t take offense at her inadvertent condescension. I focused on the “excellent” part and ignored the “boy.” It was a choice. Also, I was very brave and barely needed any anesthetic. I only cried once in my life that I can remember. It was when a lovely friend said goodbye. I was quite small then and it was my first important loss. I’ve learned since how to fill up my eyes with love for what’s in front of me.

Advice from Oliver: Courage comes easier to some than others. Some of it is choice.

From time to time, I make a mistake. Last post, I didn’t properly write that my sister is Biscuit’s mother. So, now you know. I am not perfect.

If you have trouble sending any comments to me, I would suggest that instead of sending them via the channels that are full of AI influence, send comments directly to onelightsource@comcast. net

Biscuit and I

Snow!! It feels so good to be running free on the snow-over-ice lake, to bark-bark-bark, to jump high and spin around for show. Many of our close relatives are champions in agility, if you know what that means. I don’t but I can guess. I think it’s when we show off and jump through hoops. I’ve taught Biscuit how to bark loud to demonstrate joy. That’s a lot more fun since it’s on our own terms. Sometimes, our paws get cold or filled with ice so we let you know we want to go home by whimpering just a little. Never a lot. That doesn’t befit sophisticated dogs like me, and one day, like Biscuit.

Can you tell who’s who in the photograph above? I’ll give you a hint. You can see Biscuit’s nose, but not mine. I am always on the lookout for danger. Biscuit loses himself in his own excitement and is oblivious to danger. He is still a little naïve. He even chases cars. Biscuit and I look a lot alike, but I am sleeker and more elegant; whereas Biscuit… (I have to keep reminding you I have a very large vocabulary. I like to use words like “whereas.”)… is very fluffy and likes to roll over on his back and show everything private to others like you and Dad and sometimes other humans. Biscuit doesn’t fully understand that rolling on your back leaves you vulnerable to potential predators. Full exposure is not my style. You would rarely catch me on my back in front of other animals or humans. Humphfh! Very undignified.

It doesn’t matter, because I will tell you anyway, just because it’s important to let others know when you love them, that Biscuit is the best companion ever! Since today is so close to Valentine’s Day, I thought I should just woof it in writing. Besides. I think you can tell from the above photograph that we get very silly together and I can only do this with other spirits like me. Sometimes you shout at us, “STOP BARKING! YOU’RE HURTING MY EARS!” But we can’t help doing what comes naturally to sheepdogs, namely barking like mad.

Biscuit Disguised as a Snowflake

So now that I’ve admitted to you how much I love Biscuit, I should tell you why. For one thing, he is related to me. He’s my nephew. That means his sister was lucky from the moment her little son padded through our door because I watch out for him very well. For example, we went to a dog park a few weeks ago, and there were some ill-mannered woofers there whose humans acted like they had come from another planet. These bad woofers were chasing Biscuit around and Biscuit didn’t fully understand that one false move and they might hurt him. I let them have it twice with my deepest rrahhhh, rrrrrrrrahhhhm, ggggggrrrr! In other words, “You’d better get lost, or you’ll wish you’d never seen us.” They lifted one ear apiece to me and split off in another directlon. Secondly, Biscuit affords me the proper respect. You’d better believe he knows who is top dog in this household. Thirdly and lastly, you and Dad love Biscuit almost as much as you love me, so I’ve accepted that we are keeping him. Enough said or this will get sappy and I will drool all over and make your fingers sticky.

Advice from Oliver: Tell the ones you love how much and why you love them. It doesn’t hurt you, and it makes them happy. It might even get you an extra treat.

On the lake yesterday, you made the mistake of bringing us both out on the lake with a certain orange frisbee that is just our size and type. Biscuit wears it around his neck when I’m not with you to supervise.

Woof. It’s hard to explain how I feel when Biscuit thinks he can take away the frisbee or the ball or the newspaper or the mail. I am in charge here and it has been that way ever since I was a furry little ball. When Biscuit treads on my territory, I am patient for awhile and then I tell him in no uncertain terms that I’m boss. That’s it. I growl and snap and bark and tear around until he quits which is usually very soon after I have begun my display of righteous woofness.

This photograph depicts me at my sneakiest early this morning when it was still dark outside. I am demonstrating my wit and skill in my game called HOLDING A SOCK . You rarely catch me at the beginning when I start with my opening move. I snatch a sock that one of you have carelessly dropped around the house. My favorite sock is the big one I am using for demonstration purposes.. It’s big and white and feels really good between my beautiful teeth. It’s all in the prance and run. Sometimes I slide on the wood floors when you chase me, but I come from agility stock, so I’m quick at the Scrape and Scramble Recovery. I’ve taught you a lot about giving in. This sock is worth about two treats in ransom. You’re a lot better at the exchange of sock for treats than you used to be. Next, are pictures are of Biscuit and me: 1)B. showing off on the lake this morning without me and 2) me watching from the window because you made me wait. Together we can easily over power you with our extreme cuteness, so you decided you would take us out one at a time from now on. I think it’s because I always win and you try to even out the win/lose results. it won’t work. Biscuit’s photos are taken before the sun came up. Ha! They didn’t turn out nearly as well as the ones of me.

Biscuit, showing off. This is the trick that really makes him smile. He’s saying, “Notice, please, the ring cleverly draped around my neck.

Me, Oliver, looking menacing.

Advice from Oliver: Sometimes Surrender is the name of the game.